SELF Kunfused!!!

“Hey, it’s over!” exclaimed the futuristic worrisome ME.

Retorting in a dismissing fashion, "I" said its just a phase and you will miss this also 4 years hence.
Mumbling to self, ME said, "It’s just those self-help books read during MBA days, that’s talking. It’s real and its gone forever."
I said, " Yes, it’s the same feeling you had 10 years back. You just like to lament over past under the garb of NOSTALGIA. Get over yourself and embrace the next."
Irritated at the discourse, ME said, "No, I can't. That's the way I am. How many times will I have to leave permanent and move towards the Uncertainty? "

"Didn't you do that when you left your home?" asked I." And what is this absurdity - I can't change."

“Please leave me alone, we can't talk the same.”, said ME with slight exasperation.

"No, we have to stay together and we just can't think apart. It’s been tearing SELF into 2 directions. He is at a stage where he needs uniformity in thinking and more so a modern and out looking one." a more serious I said.

“You and the whole world always blame me for my outlook.”, ME said getting a little sad.

Like all quarrels need time out, this one too followed the timeless suit.

However, then the day shifted its spotlight on the subject matter of this argument. Yes, introducing the kunfused SELF. His confusion is so bizarre, that my English spellings got confused with German.

SELF is a just an ordinary mere mortal, vulnerable to external influences, not to discount the internal ones from ME & I. He is a young gun, with lots in store from the laboratory of LIFE. Lots simply pertain to the highly predictable events meant to make everyone around him happy. Brimming with ideas about his work, national politics, nation's development, the Indian attitude, et al, he comes across to most as a passionate and aggressive guy. He has opinions and views, and this is where it all boils to his Kunfusion.

Let’s talk about this aspect to be better placed for the 440 volt drama between ME & I.

Is sex before marriage OK? Please do not get perturbed. I'm not going to start a discourse on morality, also not engaging people cutting across diverse sections and have a bellicose debate.

His Kunfusion is quite similar to the highly commercial televised public debates. The only element lacking is a "Over the top, off the seat Journalist" trying to play referee. These debates never come to a conclusive end. So does this question, which never finds a conclusive answer. An answer that makes him confident of his actions, his words and the style he wants to throw.

Now that question which never finds an answer in SELF. I am just using this question as a sample to give you a taste of the kind of confusion that exists.

He has one foot in his past and another in future. He wants to take one route, but finds it difficult to leave past one. Pickled in the past, he thinks his "cut above the rest thinking & attitude" is because of his past. On the other hand, for his current coterie and public image, the future seems to be a more lucrative option. Future is liberation for him as an individual, a license to do things which he firmly believes in. Nostalgia element plays havoc in this as it pulls his other foot back.

SELF is at a standpoint, which many call "the quarter life crisis". I beg to differ, its just a Kunfusion.

Hey! Now do not allow the emotional glands to secret more and more of sentimental juices and have pity on his dude.

SELF is no helpless guy needing buckets of tears from others to make him at ease.
SELF is a human and like all humans need to make choices, he too does.

It’s true for all of us. Isn't it? Our choices give shape to our lives.
And in this process, one leaves some and gets some. No one can say that he/she has not left anything. Everyone has. And for the more practical souls, they do not mull too much for gaining new at the cost of losing old.

OK, here come the duo ...

"Have you made up your mind ?" Asked I in a "I have won" smile.

"Why? Rather who are you to ask me that. Yes, I have made up mind." replied a resolute ME with a "gave it back" attitude.

"Just say Yes or NO, that, will you change?", asked I, getting irritated.

"NO! NO! NO! How many times would you like to hear?" retorted ME, with a raised voice.

"Good for you, you conservative egotist. Just don't like to appreciate change. Live and die in the slum of your ego and rot." , An exasperated I said.

"Now don't push me to the wall. I will bloody kill you." , shouted ME.

"Stop it! Just Stop it! Ridiculous! You guys are killing me", came a moist, but raised voice.

You've guessed it right. Its SELF coming to the stage.

"Enough is enough. And stop fighting.” , came a thunderous statement fro SELF.

"A decision has to be made, but not by a cock fight. I appreciate your concerns of not letting go the past. We wont do that. All I want is appreciating and accepting a few things, that we have never seen or had reservations on.", said SELF.

"Precisely, Bang On, That's what I've been yelling my lungs out on.”, replied a rather serious I.

"When am I saying NO to anything new? All I want is that there are few things which should remain the same. “, a rather politically correct reply from ME.

It’s pretty clear that ME will budge from his position, because for him, change is temporary.
He knows any change will only be suppressing and not subverting it.

I agree with ME, that a person's basic nature cannot change. If those elements are not showing, it means that they are in hibernation. They will come to fore, definitely.

But future has to be welcomed with both hands and different from "YOU" needs to be accepted, how high & cut above the rest attitude one may have.

We do face these testing situations and all we need to do is o face it.

SELF will also face it, face the War Within!

I leave it to your imagination, as to what happened in the 440 volts drama in the end.

Happy Getting Kunfused in Life !