Albert A-live !!!

A young man, tall of frame, rushed through the bushes and trees. Hands in his overcoat, sporting a designer French hat, he rushed out of sight. Walking through the misty night, with a gun in his hands, he looked as dashing and fearless as Amitabh Bachchan in the movie 'Don'.



Suddenly, a gunshot followed. The scary silence of the cold winter night was shattered by the sound of the gunshot, at the unearthly time of 2 hours post mid night. I was expecting a flutter or two between the bushes and our star would emerge running. I waited like a movie buff in the midst of a self-created thriller. Contrary to my movie like expectations, there was nothing emerging from the bushes, not even a rat for that matter.

'Is he the sadistic type, who likes watching blood jutting out?’ I thought to myself.
'Or does he derive vicarious pleasure by watching a human writhing in pain?'. Perplexed with such thoughts, I honked once.

No response for ten minutes started bothering me, and why shouldn't it? He had still not paid the 200 rupees fare for my services!!

'Has he run away without paying me? Can't even think of going close and fighting', I thought to myself. Our lanky dude has the dreaded machine. With these thoughts in my mind, I decided to wait for some more time. I saw my watch and the ticking time in the dark shadow of the night accentuated the gripping fear in my mind.

Gathering courage, I got out of my beloved cab. I started walking towards the bushes, chanting Hanuman Chaalisa. Like all Indians, my respect for god and godly things had just shot up like a bull-run sensex graph.

'Ae Bhaau', came out of my choking throat.
No reply added to my chaos.
This time with a demanding twang came, 'Apne ko jaane ka hai, paise de aur kalti len de yaar'.

Expectedly, no response came but I stood my ground. I had put up a brave front for long by still standing at least 10 feet away from the bushes!! Yep, 10 feet. Coz I was just too scared to be there.

200 rupees? How can anyone risk it out for 200? This is what one might feel about this, but, that was the only pot of gold, I had to show to my taxi owner. The anti-valentine's day protest by the 'Live Sena' had ensured no business. And the continuous cruising in the by lanes, hunting for business had got the tank almost dry.
Moreover, it was well past the time I fill myself with some fuel for high spirits.

With clenched fists and a vigorous chant of the holy hymn, I inched closer to the bushy spot.
And then, there was light!!! One beam followed another and the spot was alive to be seen.

I turned back and saw a mobile van with a satellite receiver and men with a video camera, wires, etc. Out of nowhere, a microphone speaker was forced close to my face and a visibly excited bearded man asked me, ‘ Kaisa lag raha aapko, iss cold blooded murder ke baad’.

Well, cold was the night for me and murder was the waste of my time and money.

Perplexed with the volatile change of events, I could not speak and tried to force my way out of the spotlight.

'Khaali-phokat phans gaya re', I murmured to myself and started crying. Thoughts of a trial and the jail shook me deep within with horror. I was barely able to hold myself together, when came out the pugnacious ranting of the bearded man.

'Jee haan, yahan highway no. teen ke pass hua ek cold blooded murder. Aur aap dekh sakte hain live and exclusive, is khooni haadse ke chasmdeet gavaah, taxi driver Albert pe kya beeti hai. Apni bhavnao pe kaaboo na karte hue, woh ro baithe. Hum unse baat karenge aur do minton ke antaraal ke baad hum aapko pesh karenge Albert ka aankhon dekha haal. To Pee News ke saath bane rahein aur intezaar karein DANDANEE ka.'

There was a sudden rush of blood in me and I looked up.
I ran up to the presenter and said, ' Thank you, bhaau'.

He took me to the cab and asked what exactly happened. After I gave the full account, he explained to me what he has in mind, and told me to speak the given lines properly.

'Aur dhyaan rahe, tu TV pe live aa raha hai', he said.
There was an immediate glow on my face with the feeling of being on TV.

And, out of nowhere, I was ready to be a live Albert
'Kaisa lag raha aapko, Albert?', asked the presenter.
'Bole to, apun full shock mein hai’, I said with a stutter, as directed.
And then I answered the presenter's questions one by one.

He closed the shoot by promising the audience to uncover the murder mystery.
He had got the content for some 4-5 episodes and I had got out of a possible mess.

He came to me asking for a light. While smoking I asked him, 'bhaau aap mere pe doubt kyon nahin giraaya?'.
With a grin he said, ' tu koi bada aadmi nahin, naahi underworld ka hai, to public ka interest nahin rahega.'
I got the message. I asked him one more question, ' aap woh dhuan, khopdi, maala bila ke baare mein bolne ko kyun bola?'.
He looked at me visibly irritated and said, ' agla 2 episode dekh, samajh mein aa jaaega, aur apne aajoo-baajoo sabhi ko dekhne bol'.
‘Achcha, ek aur sawaal bhaau, aapko yahan aane ka kaise soojha?, I asked again.
‘Sawaal bahaut poochta tu, yeh jungle-jhaar ke ulte side tantric ka shoot kar rahe the.. Gun ka aawaz suna , aura aa gaya,’ came a quick response.

I understood a little and left a lot for the episodes to come.

I got back to my cab and started driving back on the highway no. teen.
Now there was a philosophical smile on my face and I gave myself a pat on the back.
For what? Well actually for coming live. Something which noone from my area of Bharaavi had ever thought of. To top it all, I have a murder mystery to tell people all my life.

Suddenly, I thought of something which I completely missed.
A dead body, a gun, blood, etc. Amidst the live events, I missed everything associated with this great murder mystery of mine.
For the first time guilt gripped me and I thought of my hero and the dead.

8 days later, I switched on the TV to see DANDANEE.
I saw myself, the presenter, the bushes and the trees... I saw everything but the dead body, or the gun or blood.
Yet again came the bearded man vociferously linking the spot and my experience to the mysterious tantrik accused of gory acts.
I was zapped and left with my jaw wide open.
I could not see anything. I found it hard keep my attention held to theTV.
But, I saw something that will be with me all my life, with a whole new meaning.

Yes, just below the pee news logo, I saw a LIVE.

SELF Kunfused!!!

“Hey, it’s over!” exclaimed the futuristic worrisome ME.

Retorting in a dismissing fashion, "I" said its just a phase and you will miss this also 4 years hence.
Mumbling to self, ME said, "It’s just those self-help books read during MBA days, that’s talking. It’s real and its gone forever."
I said, " Yes, it’s the same feeling you had 10 years back. You just like to lament over past under the garb of NOSTALGIA. Get over yourself and embrace the next."
Irritated at the discourse, ME said, "No, I can't. That's the way I am. How many times will I have to leave permanent and move towards the Uncertainty? "

"Didn't you do that when you left your home?" asked I." And what is this absurdity - I can't change."

“Please leave me alone, we can't talk the same.”, said ME with slight exasperation.

"No, we have to stay together and we just can't think apart. It’s been tearing SELF into 2 directions. He is at a stage where he needs uniformity in thinking and more so a modern and out looking one." a more serious I said.

“You and the whole world always blame me for my outlook.”, ME said getting a little sad.

Like all quarrels need time out, this one too followed the timeless suit.

However, then the day shifted its spotlight on the subject matter of this argument. Yes, introducing the kunfused SELF. His confusion is so bizarre, that my English spellings got confused with German.

SELF is a just an ordinary mere mortal, vulnerable to external influences, not to discount the internal ones from ME & I. He is a young gun, with lots in store from the laboratory of LIFE. Lots simply pertain to the highly predictable events meant to make everyone around him happy. Brimming with ideas about his work, national politics, nation's development, the Indian attitude, et al, he comes across to most as a passionate and aggressive guy. He has opinions and views, and this is where it all boils to his Kunfusion.

Let’s talk about this aspect to be better placed for the 440 volt drama between ME & I.

Is sex before marriage OK? Please do not get perturbed. I'm not going to start a discourse on morality, also not engaging people cutting across diverse sections and have a bellicose debate.

His Kunfusion is quite similar to the highly commercial televised public debates. The only element lacking is a "Over the top, off the seat Journalist" trying to play referee. These debates never come to a conclusive end. So does this question, which never finds a conclusive answer. An answer that makes him confident of his actions, his words and the style he wants to throw.

Now that question which never finds an answer in SELF. I am just using this question as a sample to give you a taste of the kind of confusion that exists.

He has one foot in his past and another in future. He wants to take one route, but finds it difficult to leave past one. Pickled in the past, he thinks his "cut above the rest thinking & attitude" is because of his past. On the other hand, for his current coterie and public image, the future seems to be a more lucrative option. Future is liberation for him as an individual, a license to do things which he firmly believes in. Nostalgia element plays havoc in this as it pulls his other foot back.

SELF is at a standpoint, which many call "the quarter life crisis". I beg to differ, its just a Kunfusion.

Hey! Now do not allow the emotional glands to secret more and more of sentimental juices and have pity on his dude.

SELF is no helpless guy needing buckets of tears from others to make him at ease.
SELF is a human and like all humans need to make choices, he too does.

It’s true for all of us. Isn't it? Our choices give shape to our lives.
And in this process, one leaves some and gets some. No one can say that he/she has not left anything. Everyone has. And for the more practical souls, they do not mull too much for gaining new at the cost of losing old.

OK, here come the duo ...

"Have you made up your mind ?" Asked I in a "I have won" smile.

"Why? Rather who are you to ask me that. Yes, I have made up mind." replied a resolute ME with a "gave it back" attitude.

"Just say Yes or NO, that, will you change?", asked I, getting irritated.

"NO! NO! NO! How many times would you like to hear?" retorted ME, with a raised voice.

"Good for you, you conservative egotist. Just don't like to appreciate change. Live and die in the slum of your ego and rot." , An exasperated I said.

"Now don't push me to the wall. I will bloody kill you." , shouted ME.

"Stop it! Just Stop it! Ridiculous! You guys are killing me", came a moist, but raised voice.

You've guessed it right. Its SELF coming to the stage.

"Enough is enough. And stop fighting.” , came a thunderous statement fro SELF.

"A decision has to be made, but not by a cock fight. I appreciate your concerns of not letting go the past. We wont do that. All I want is appreciating and accepting a few things, that we have never seen or had reservations on.", said SELF.

"Precisely, Bang On, That's what I've been yelling my lungs out on.”, replied a rather serious I.

"When am I saying NO to anything new? All I want is that there are few things which should remain the same. “, a rather politically correct reply from ME.

It’s pretty clear that ME will budge from his position, because for him, change is temporary.
He knows any change will only be suppressing and not subverting it.

I agree with ME, that a person's basic nature cannot change. If those elements are not showing, it means that they are in hibernation. They will come to fore, definitely.

But future has to be welcomed with both hands and different from "YOU" needs to be accepted, how high & cut above the rest attitude one may have.

We do face these testing situations and all we need to do is o face it.

SELF will also face it, face the War Within!

I leave it to your imagination, as to what happened in the 440 volts drama in the end.

Happy Getting Kunfused in Life !